David

Sometimes I think about how unpredictable and fleeting life can be. How I don't know when our vows of "till death do us part" will come true. Instead of dwelling on how scary that can seem, I won't take advantage of the wonderful quirks of what makes my husband the man I love and like.

What I like about David is that his enthusiasm for everything makes me feel like I could do anything, even if just for a second.

What I like about David is his genuine love for people.
    And me.

I like David because he tells me his dreams.
I like David because he has a new dream almost every day.
I like David because he includes me in these dreams.

I like David’s laugh.
When everyone in a restaurant turns their heads to see who belongs to that boisterous laugh, I like him.

Once, he put on Andrew Byrd and started to dance wildly around the room and took me with him and we danced like silly little kids without saying one word and we weren’t embarrassed, and I liked him. 

When he stood up to give a toast honoring me in front of our empty living room, I liked him.

When he forgets everything he needs for the day and yet still seems so adorable, I like him.
When he tickles my back even though he hates doing it, I really like him.

I like David because he is never afraid to show his affection toward me,
even when I'm mad at him.
Or he's mad at me.

The night I got sick on our vacation and he carried me off of our bed and cleaned the mess up himself, I really liked him.

When he sits up in bed in the middle of the night, gives me a kiss, turns over and then has no recollection of it in the morning, I like him.

Once, he sang bohemian rhapsody using my leg as both a microphone and a guitar, and I liked him. 

When he took charge of our finances and spent days organizing it to protect what he is providing for me, I liked that.
When he reads the Bible to me as if it’s his greatest treasure, I like him.

When I imagine him as a dad, I like him.
When he tries to turn anything we are planning into an excel spreadsheet, I like him.

When he rides his scooter and his legs stick out a little because he is 6’2,” I really like him.

When he makes the bed in the morning, I like him.
            When he leaves it messy and runs out in a hurry, I like him too.
                     When his hair looks like the messy covers, I especially like him.

When he uses funny words like “jiggery-pokery” because he was a literature major, I like him.

When he calls me pickle.
When he brings me coffee.
When he is enthusiastic about anything I cook.
I like him.
         
         The way his voice sounds like Louis Armstrong in the morning
                                    The way he looks at me when we are eating dinner.
                           The way he holds my hand. I like him.

I think why I like David has something to do with why I like coffee
                      strong,
               daily,
                       dependable

 and a little something that gets me excited about waking up each day.

 Happy 6 months to the greatest man I know.
Love always, Your Pickle

A year in pictures

It's been so long that I have been consistent in my writing that I decided to sum up my year in pictures...it was fun exercise, reminding me of some great memories. Enjoy!

April: Summer Love's birthday...notice how similar taylor and I look? haha

May: The Keys with my mom, Crystal and her mom and Chelsea. Fun!
June: An example of the hilarious quotes that end up on our house quote board
July: Taylor moves in! We are room neighbors!
August: I graduated from undergrad and went with these two to New Orleans!
September: My beautiful room :-)
October: A strange picture, I know. But this was the retreat where I met my sweetheart, David Healy
November: Mom and I at a FSU football game with Chief Osceola
November: Got my tattoo-- elpis, "Hope" in greek
December: Christmas day on the beach with my family
January: David and I missed each other so much so he drove down to see me for 3 days...I introduced him to Ikea and I think he liked it! ;-) Well, at least he liked pretending to live in the houses.
Feb/March: DANGIT, stupid computer left the Feb picture out...pretend. It was pic of Crystal and I on our carribean cruise all dressed up!! And for March, David and I spent 2 beach vacations with family in two different places all in one weekend!
April: Easter at David's family's house. :-)

...Have no pics for the next 2 months. It was nice to look through the last year and see God's grace in my life and His many blessings. It is always good to count them!

Prone to Wander

It has been awhile, dear bloggers. But I have missed writing what I am learning...it helps me so much to apply it to my life. So I pray that it speaks to your heart and encourages you to action.


“Sarah, I wonder if you could look at it as if Christ is your husband and He sits waiting for you with open arms while you play the harlot, running from Him?”
These kind and ever so gentle words (ha) from my mentor Jeanie felt like a ball of fire that bounced off every uncomfortable corner of anything hidden in my heart, exposing and enlightening until nothing was left uncovered. You can imagine how shocked my face looked at this point in time. I had no words.
She was right; I was running. I was rebellious. I was angry. I wanted to sin and keep doing it and I was finally going to choose my path and not feel a twinge of guilt. I had succeeded in hardening my heart and had almost made it through her interrogation unscathed. The comment felt like the horns of Jericho supernaturally knocking down what I had thought was a carefully constructed fortress. I was down for the count.
Hosea could have given Jeanie a run for her money. When God chose him to speak to the nation of Israel, his first instructions were to marry a harlot. Thus Hosea became an example of God and his wife who had been a harlot, Israel. I never knew there were such rich treasures in this prophetic book.
In Hosea 2:2-5, the Lord speaks of Israel’s unfaithfulness. He says, “Plead with your mother, plead- for she is not my wife and I am not her husband-that she put away her whoring from her face…for their mother has played the whore; she who conceived them has acted shamefully.” Quite a pill to swallow.
Israel had been worshipping other gods in the pagan countries around them. When there was famine or drought, they would worship Baal instead of their own One True God. (1 Kings 18-19) They had broken their “marriage” covenant with the Lord by being unfaithful—in Jewish law this was punishable by death. But God disciplined and did not destroy.
As I studied this passage, I couldn’t help but recognize how my own heart has done this so many times. It’s easy to point at Israel and see how different and sinful they were. But what reasons did Israel chase after other gods?
1) They were rebellious sinners. Isaiah says we are all sinners, and that none are good. We have all turned aside. (Is. 53:6) I know I have.
2) They exposed themselves intimately in the culture around them. I.e. through marriage, etc… They had become “of” the world, not just “in” the world. 1John 2:15-17) Our culture has unfortunately crept further than it is welcome into the Truth of Scripture and the lives of believers.
3) When trials struck, they placed their hope in something else. They did not trust God to provide. How often do we rely on our own strength or on the strength of our friends, family, alcohol, etc.?
Suddenly, Israel doesn’t seem so different, do they? They were just screw-ups like us and yet God had mercy on them. And He would eventually extend that mercy to the rest of the sinful world. (John 3:16) That means He has extended that grace to us. Even while we were sinners, that is when Christ died. (Romans 5:8) No matter how much of a “whore” we have been. No matter how deep in the hurt of our lives we have dug ourselves. He waits with open arms. All He asks is for faith that He is enough. We simply must believe and follow Him.
For me, it is a constant turning back around and running back to his arms. My husband has infinite grace and mercy, infinite love that He never holds back no matter how much I may hurt Him, and infinite power to constantly be working in my heart and changing it daily to be more and more like him. Why would I want to run?

“Prone to wander, Lord I feel it. Prone to leave the God I love.
Here’s my heart, Lord, take and seal it. Seal it for Thy courts above.”

Painting Pictures of Egypt

Sometimes songs say it best...

Painting Pictures Of Egypt

I don’t want to leave here
I don’t want to stay
It feels like pinching to me either way
The places I long for the most
Are the places where I’ve been
They are calling after me like a long lost friend

It’s not about losing faith
It’s not about trust
It’s all about comfortable
When you move so much
The place I was wasn’t perfect
But I had found a way to live
It wasn’t milk or honey
But then neither is this

CHORUS:
I’ve been painting pictures of Egypt
Leaving out what it lacked
The future seems so hard
And I want to go back
But the places that used to fit me
Cannot hold the things I"ve learned
And those roads closed off to me
While my back was turned

The past is so tangible
I know it by heart
Familiar things are never easy to discard
I was dying for some freedom
But now I hesitate to go
Caught between the promise
And the things I know

BRIDGE:
If it comes too quick
I may not recognize it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?
If it comes too quick
I may not appreciate it
Is that the reason behind all this time and sand?

Here

I've never given up so much for You
I've never been quick to obey
But this time I knew the voice was You
And so I gave all I gave

I’ve heard it said that when You’re needed most
Sometimes it seems that You’re not there
So it’s been hard to love the choice I chose
When it seemed to me You’d all but disappeared

But now You’re here just like the sun after the rain
And now You’re here just like the calm after the waves
And I don’t mean to sound surprised that you’d be near
But yesterday I wasn’t sure
Praise God You’re here.

I’ve heard that even in the eaglets’ nest,
The mother watches when they fall
And they would never learn to spread their wings if she came right as they called

And so I'm falling in the open sky
And it's been hard to even breathe
I've been waiting for a Father's love to carry me
To carry me


And like the years before I met you, you were still there
Though it took so long to see you, you were still there
And you're still here

--Katy Kinard

Heaven's Glory Flood

If I were to pick a learning concept I love the most, it would be analogies. They resonate with me. So much that I feel them reach deep into my heart and pull unresolved thoughts and floating emotions to the surface of my life, rotate the puzzle pieces of my mind, and then snap them into place. The result: a beautiful picture of God’s grace. Every time.

God brought me one such analogy today. I’ve been His child on the run—resisting rest, resisting reason. Wanting to do it all on my own-prove my abilities. Deep down I knew stopping would be the best. I could trust Him to meet me and fill me—or could I? Fear that seeking Him would once again be empty and fruitless kept me from stopping for weeks. If I were honest with myself, however, I would acknowledge that the empty and fruitless places came from me trying so very hard on my own strength. So I just told myself to “buck up,” I pushed forward and all the while He was gently calling me to stop and take in all He has for me.

So finally I did today. I pulled up in my heatless but dry car to the flooded Lake Ella with some praise music and my bible study. I studied Galations with John MacArthur and praised God with Meredith Andrews. Once in awhile I would glance up at the mom and pop produce stand which had inserted itself in front of the now overflowing lake. After awhile, I noticed a curious child, maybe 5 years of age, with a bowl haircut like Jesse’s twins on Full House. He was uninterested in the produce stand, nor the people in it who were now shoveling water out of their temporary location. He romped around, feeding ducks and chasing squirrels. But at some point I looked up at him and couldn’t help but laugh. He was standing out in the rain with his head thrown back, mouth wide open, drinking in all the rain would give him. Then, almost immediately, he pulled his head up, unable to stand any more water than had already filled his mouth (and probably his lungs), and he giggled with glee.

This was repeated over and over again, and, as I watched his mirth, I remembered doing the same thing as a child. Such pure and untainted joy. Suddenly the analogy occurred to me. This is what God has been asking from me for weeks! I could almost hear Him saying, “Drink, Sarah. Just open your mouth, throw back your head and forget all that troubles you. I will pour my living water in you and you will thirst no more.” He has promised to fill me. He has promised that He is enough and so I want to believe Him. I need to believe Him.

And so, with a mouth wide open to His goodness and grace, I am resting and satisfied. May I never leave. But, when I do, let it never be for long. “This human cup cannot contain Heaven’s glory flood.”

Hope

Hope. The very pronunciation of the word seems to lend a calmness and peace that drips off the tongue and lands in the soul of the hearer like a drop of clean, cool water on a July day. Whenever the word is uttered, all of us receive, whether we know it, a mental picture corresponding to its meaning. A personification of whatever or whomever we believe to be hope. But what is it really?

Since the past election, “hope” has been quite the buzzword in the United States. Living in the capital of Florida, I often notice pictures of our President with that word in bold letters as I drive around town. It has certainly stirred an emotion in countless minds and hearts around the country.

While I am sure President Obama wishes the best for us, he really has no power to give us a true hope; an everlasting hope. There is only one true Body of Water from which the streams of hope flow. Romans 5:1-5 teaches us that God allows suffering, and suffering produces endurance, endurance produces character, and character produces hope. And this hope, Paul says, does not disappoint. It will not bring us shame. Because it is rooted in the Author of Hope Himself.

Take a moment and try to think of something or someone on this earth that, if your hope was placed upon, wouldn’t at some point bring you shame and disappointment. Could you think of anything? Hmmm…Economy? Have you read the news? Your spouse? They will disappoint. Your career? Will it last? What will happen when it’s over? Nature? Think again, nature is slowly degrading. They will all bring you shame.

Hope, in the Biblical definition is not a “wish” as we so often think of it. The Hebrew words used often in the Bible for hope are yachal which is translated “to expect, to wait for” and qavah which translates “to look for eagerly, to lie in wait for.” Are you getting the idea that this hope is expectant? Don’t miss that! This hope is secure. It is not just a flippant wish.

I love the word picture that this hope brings. My heart smiles as I allow my mind to go back to elementary school. At that age, my dad could do anything (I still secretly believe that). I was always so excited about him coming home everyday. Once in awhile, especially on days when my mom was trying her hardest to love me and I, in 6-year-old eyes, interpreted this as her trying her hardest to hate me, I would wait expectantly for my dad for long periods of time (30 minutes was a LONG time for a 6-year-old). I would go into the bathroom, drag the clothes hamper that was as big as I was, awkwardly position it right under my front window and sit. Watching. Waiting. I knew he was coming home. There was no doubt in my mind. If he said he was on his way, I believed him. That’s what our Heavenly Father is offering us. That kind of hope times more than we can ever imagine, and all He asks is for our faith. For us to believe Him as well as believe IN Him.

So what does hope mean to me? Well, let’s see…The road I’ve walked the past few months and even past year has been a hard one; a rough one. But I am truly grateful for it because God has promised me so much through hope. He has promised grace. He has promised forgiveness. He has promised restoration—and that means the world to me. He means the world to me. If these past few months had been easy, I wouldn’t be where I am: on my face at the foot of the cross begging for God’s sustaining, loving and tender arms to hold me, hug me, gently correct me, and wipe away the tears of the shame that flow from placing my hopes in a fallen world. Without Him, I would have no hope. Now I have hope from not only all that He is, but also in what He will do in the world, in my life. He makes all things new.

I think that Elizabeth Elliot sums up the idea of hope well when she says, “I don’t know, when I’m asking for something here on earth, what is going on in the innermost shrine of Heaven…I am sure of one thing: it is good….The hope we have is living hope….We wait for it, in faith and patience.”

Hope is my buzzword now. I will hold out. I will wait. I will not give up.

I Believe

When there's nothing to believe in, I belive in you
Forget the past and let my hand in yours be the proof
Though the strong could be my company, you're the one I choose
So remember, I believe in you

I know it feels like every eye is watching you
Waiting for you to fall, expecting you to lose
But I see victory, so all you have to do
Is remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

There will come a day when love will lift you out of here
There will come a day when love will bring the truth
There will come a day when love will free you from your fear
And you'll remember, I believe in you

I believe, even when I see you crying
I believe, let me dream for you
When nothing comes from trying
Remember, I believe in you

Random Catfish Story

Have you ever had moments in your life when you think, “did that really just happen to me? Seriously?” I had one of those moments on Sunday. Although it was quite painful, it was rather humorous as well, and so I’ll share.

Jenna and I had decided to brave the oh-so-early hour of the first service at church in order to drive to the beach, which unfortunately is now 2 hours away. Because of this, I’d just like to mention that I’ve learned how to actually plan for a beach trip. It involves things like towels, food, bathing suits and, oh yeah, sunscreen. These minor details were not always necessary when I lived about 7 ½ minutes from the beach. But, I digress.

Once we arrived at the beach, we had a lovely time of swimming, laying out, and reading our current books in the sunshine. Near the end of our time, Jenna suggested a walk. I love walking on the beach! Something is so magical about walking along a shore of a massive body of water. It reminds me of how small I really am.

We walked about a half mile one way and then turned around, deeply engrossed in conversation. One instant I was listening intently to Jenna talk about some deep life situation, the next instant accompanied searing pain. Something was piercing my foot. I thought I had stepped on a shell, but when I lifted my foot up, an animal was dangling from my pad of my foot. I think it was then that I started to panic. Jenna said I didn’t panic, she said I was totally calm the whole time but if that’s true, I was freaking out in my head. I wasn’t sure what was stuck to me but I yelled, “Get it off! Get it off!” I held on to Jenna as she did her best to do just that. It was then that I realized a dead catfish was stuck in my foot and not coming out. Ew.

“Let me sit down, I need to sit down!” She helped me on the sand as a family came rushing over to lend their aid. Jenna was still tugging at my foot and I felt like the insides of my foot were going to come out with it. Lord, please get it out. I don’t want to go to the E.R,” I prayed. And with that, it was out. I was light headed and in a ton of pain, but I was ok! Jenna said it was in my foot about 2 inches. The family that helped us was staying in one of the condos on the beach and they ran inside to get us water, hydrogen peroxide, and bandages. Thank God for that!

As we hobbled back to our stuff, we couldn’t help but laugh uncontrollably. I’m sure some of the laughing came from gratitude and relief, but you have to admit, it was pretty funny. We kept saying, “Did that really just happen?”

I paid a visit to the doctor yesterday to take make sure everything was ok. They gave me a tetanus shot (ouch) and antibiotics. They also took an x-ray of my foot to make sure nothing was left from the ugly catfish in it. It looked good and now I’m just waiting for the swelling to go down so that I can walk properly again. Right now it is very painful to walk and I’m staying alone so that makes things particularly difficult. However, I’m easily adaptable.

So there you have it: my random catfish story. Crazy, I know. And yes, it really did happen.